I’ve had enough, and it’s time to make a stand.
I’m about to give you a bunch of words.
And you’re not allowed to use them anymore, okay?
(And there are more words here for those who are keen to strike some others from their vernacular.)
No, don’t argue. They make me and everyone else flinch each time you use them.
And I know this for a fact because when I asked people on my Facebook page to tell me their most hated words, these bad boys appeared again and again.
Yes, they may have they started out being cool and unusual. But now they’re so overused they’re wearing wafer thin.
A ninja (or shinobi) was a covert agent or mercenary in feudal Japan. The functions of the ninja included: espionage, sabotage, infiltration, assassination and guerrilla warfare.
So no, you’re not a marketing ninja, or an SEO ninja.
You’re just a marketing manager or an SEO consultant.
I know it’s boring, but adding ‘ninja’ to your title doesn’t make you sound sharper and quicker than the rest. It just makes you sound like a twat.
Similarly, you should avoid using words such as ‘Icon’, ‘Rockstar’ and ‘Guru’. (Unless you actually are Jesus, Bono or Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, in which case go for your life.)
2. JOURNEY / STORY
Let’s be frank: I prefer stories with interesting protagonists who fight dragons, have invisibility cloaks and ride across clifftops with flowing locks.
And the story of your journey as “A mum who started a wigwam knitting business to have more time to spend with her kids” would be put straight in the bargain bin.
Yes. people do connect with stories.
But only if they’re interesting. And I’m afraid yours doesn’t cut the mustard.
So just as you should call a spade a spade, you should call your about page your about page, not ‘My Story’.
Psst: Gina Di told me that “Journey is a brilliant American Band with an amazing singer”.
For those who want to know more, watch this:
These days everything is a hack, and every day I see a post titled with something like “10 ingenious arse wiping hacks” that includes ingenious hacks such as:
- HACK 1: Use two sheets of paper instead of one to avoid getting poo on your hand.
- HACK 2: Sit on the toilet rather than in the sink to ensure your poo goes in the loo.
These are not hacks. At best they’re tips, but more often than not they’re just sentences that state the bleeding obvious.
When I read the word ‘hustle’ I immediately think of fraudsters and swindlers. But these days it’s become the byword for anyone wanting to sell with gumption.
Another meaning for hustle is ‘to push roughly’, which is what I’d like to do to anyone who uses this word.
5. BOSS LADY
I know lots of you love this. And I get that it’s kind of cute.
But as with its vile partner in crime ‘Mumpreneur’, the fact that women have to be ‘boss ladies’ instead of just ‘bosses’ irks me.
And if you use ‘boss lady’ and ‘sassy’ in the same sentence, I am likely to swallow my own tongue in disgust.
To be honest, I’m not even sure this should be a word. But even if it is valid, saying something is ‘impactful’ doesn’t convey any real meaning.
We’re all impacted by things every day to varying degrees. So please, be a little more specific, and pick a better word.
These days everyone is an entrepreneur. I know because I just searched for this on Linkedin and 200,000 results came back.
My hairdresser is an entrepreneur. So is my mum. And my dog.
But listen up. Just because you bought yourself a laptop and printed 100 Moo cards doesn’t mean you’re an entrepreneur.
And if your job title on LinkedIn is ‘self-employed entrepreneur’, I’m unlikely to accept your connection request.
Psst: Adding something in front of preneur (shepreneur, geekpreneur, gitpreneur, etc.) doesn’t make you any more of a preneur.
If you have to explain that something is exciting, it’s probably not.
Instead of telling people how damn exciting your new thingie is, show them why they should be excited.
And while you’re at it, drop the all-caps and exclamation marks.
“We don’t just provide services. We provide solutions.”
If you’re using the word like this you have a problem—not a solution.
“Hey ma peeps, calling out to ma peeps!”
You’re not my homie, and you’re not a rapper. So guess what? You don’t got no peeps.
Psst: I find ‘tribe’ equally nauseating. But I know many of you will cling to that word with a vice-like grip.
Other horrible words
These words are so bad I can’t even be bothered coming up with reasons for why they’re bad. Just stop using them:
- Thinking outside the box
- Core competency
- Take it offline
Psst: I may have used (and may continue to use) these words in my blog posts and copywriting. I’m here to criticise others—not to correct myself.
Over to you
What have I missed? Are there any other copywriting buzzwords that really get your goat?
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You might like my book ‘Confessions of a Misfit Entrepreneur | How to succeed despite yourself’ – buy it online here.
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