Are you romantically involved with a writer?
Well, let me start by saying how sorry I am.
I find us to be a self-involved, nitty-picky bunch of introverted geeks (a sweeping generalisation I know, but it sure applies to me). So you’re obviously a kind-hearted and patient creature.
If you do have a wordsmith in your house / bed / booty call list, then you’re probably pondering what to purchase them for passion day.
So here’s a quick list of lettery love tokens for the word herders in your life.
And yes, I know that’s it’s actually too late to order any of this stuff. But you could get them something rubbish like roses for the day, and then surprise them with these gifts in a week or so.
Please note: For those who care about such things, there are no affiliate links in this post – so you can buy this stuff, safe in the knowledge that I ain’t earning a cent.
1) Waterproof note pad
So, things are steaming up in the shower with your sexy little word nerd.
But oh no! She’s just had a blinding tag line idea.
Now there’s no need to pause your passion. She can just reach over and scribble her idea on this nifty little pad – mid snog!
(Thanks to Belinda Weaver for sending me one of these – in a totally non-sexual way)
No, it’s not romantic, but it does have the F word in the title so, that’s kind of loving, right?
This book is an awesome read and explains all those complicated grammar rules in an enjoyable, educational and downright sweary style.
* Yes, that’s the actual title.
3) A copy of ’50 Shades of Grey’
Your copywriting lover will delight in counting the number of times phrases like ‘stiffen’, ‘release’ and ‘moist’ are used.
She’ll find her ‘inner goddess’ as she reads informative and eloquent prose such as this:
“Christian squirts baby oil onto his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness – from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid.”
Or, you could go and see the movie – but be warned, it’s supposedly even worse than the book.
Either way – this book will make your writer feel like a better writer. And everyone knows a happy writer is a more snoggable writer.
4) Fridge Scrabble
You’ve planned a romantic evening squatting by the fridge shoving crumpets into your lover’s gob hole.
(‘Nine and a half weeks’ style.)
But suddenly she feels the need to conjugate a verb.
Fridge Scrabble magnets are the answer.
While you’re tackling the squirty cream, she’s manoeuvring magnets to spell ‘Do me, big boy!’
5) Wordy jewellery
Good old Etsy has loads of wordy jewellery to choose from. Go for their favourite quote, their initials or just some their most loved punctuation marks.
(Mine’s an interrobang in case you’re interested?!)
Or you can take the DIY approach.
Just steal a letter from your Scrabble set and stick it on a ring from the $2 dollar shop.
Yes you’ll look cheap, but cheap and imaginative is better than just cheap.
Add an element of excitement to the tired old game of scrabble and boggle by adding the element of striptease.
Double word score equals bra, triple word score equals undies, and if you manage to use the Q you have to take off both your socks.
Of course there are some copywriters who are tee total, but I’d say the majority of us are huge boozehounds.
Some of my best writing is done when I’m wildly drunk (admittedly the next day it doesn’t look quite so wonderful, but hey).
Put simply: Booze = happy copywriter.
So get them some love bubbles smartish.
(No, there’s no link – you know where to buy booze)
Some final words of love
I’d like to wish all my little wordy love bundles a happy St V’s day and hope that your loved one (or pet) gets you something squishy.
Over to you
What romantic gift have your purchased for your prose-loving partner? Do let me know in the comments, and if you like the post, please share.
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