19 things NOT to do in a Facebook group

19 things NOT to do in a Facebook group

Or, online ettiquette instruction manual for real humans

 

These days, pretty much everything comes with an instruction manual.

Whether it’s a state-of-the-art computer or a fork – you’re likely to be given some guidelines for use.

But when we venture out onto the interwebs, there’s no manual.

You kind of have to work it out as you go.

And it still amazes me how many people just don’t get it. Or rather, they have the internet etiquette understanding of a piece of earwax.

Especially in Facebook groups.

I see so many people blundering and stumbling about The Facebook like a drunk person at a party. Shouting loudly about their awesomeness, knocking over the virtual nibbles table and weeing in the virtual punch.

So in this post, I’m going to share my top 19 Facebook group bad behaviours as a cautionary tale.

This started as a 10 things post but increased to 19. Honestly I could have kept going for a lot longer but I have mouths to feed.

P.s. Before we get stuck in I fully admit to doing some, if not all, of the things on this list. Do as I say, not as I do.

 

1. ADMIN DELETE IF NOT ALOUD

Hey Admin – delete if not aloud(sic). I just wanted to share my amazing new way to earn money from your home. I earned $248,881 just yesterday, all while sitting on the loo. Thanks Barbara”

Barbara knows that if she has to write ‘admin delete if not allowed’ it’s not allowed.

Barbara is relying on the fact that it’s 2am and no one else will be online to delete her post until at least 7am.

Don’t be like Barbara.

2. F

Every time I see this – it makes my sphincter clench.
(Which means I have a pretty tight sphincter – sorry TMI)

Okay, I get you’re interested in the post, and it’s pretty quick and easy to type ‘F’ – but there’s this amazing little function called ‘turn on notifications’.

This stops every other person in the thread being notified by your F.

And stops everyone being F’ed off.

 

3. I WANT YOUR HONEST FEEDBACK 

Image from randomoverload.net

“Hi, my name is Sue and I just hand knitted this pair of underpants for my cat. Do you think the pattern is too garish?’

Sue doesn’t want your feedback.

Sue is making a thinly veiled attempt to promote her new handmade CatPant business.

If you do actually give Sue feedback, she’ll post an upset reply about how she stayed up all night making said cat pants, and that she only has one hand and her cat is dying.

Then you’ll feel the worst human ever.

Just say you like the bloody cat pants. Okay?

 

4. LET ME GOOGLE THAT FOR YOU

“Hi, does any one know what time it is?”

“Hey chicks, can someone please tell me what month comes after May.”

I’m pretty sure these people know about The Google, but for some reason they refuse to use it. I generally send them here.

 

5. HEY HON, I’VE SENT YOU A PM

Bob wants a recommendation for an Otter tattooist.

He posts in a group. Foolish Bob.

Bob has received 1000s of personal messages.

It’s not okay to PM people. I’m sure it breaches some unsolicited message legal ruling, but regardless it’s just as irritating as a rock in your sock.

Whatever you want to say to Bob in private, you can say on the page.

Psst: Extra points for using ‘hon’ – <gag>.

 

6. CAPTAIN IRRELEVANT

“Hi gang, I know this group is about lunchbox treats for kids, but  I have this weird growth under my armpit and I thought I’d share a picture of it to see if anyone knew what it was. Thanks, Tony.”

Stick to the topic people.

Some clues to help you will be:

  • the name of the group
  • the content of the pinned post
  • every other post in the group

Tony, if you feel like straying from the point then look for a new group – or start your own Armpit growth group. I’m sure it would be as popular as this one (warning: not for the faint-hearted).

P.S. Tony gets double FGD** points by asking for medical advice on Facebook. Take that lump to your doctor Tony.

** FGD = Facebook Group Dick


7. THE THIEF IN THE NIGHT

I know. I’m going to go into group A and ask a question.

When the admin or the members have generously answered my question, I’m going to take their answer and post it somewhere else as a #BUSINESSTIP of the week.

I see you idea stealer.

I am watching.

via GIPHY

8. I HAVEN’T READ THE OTHER RESPONSES BUT

“I know this post is actually from 1998 and 632 people have already given an answer, but I just thought I’d chip in and say EXACTLY THE SAME BLOODY THING AS EVERYONE ELSE.”

If you have nothing new to say, say nothing.

9. COMMENT WITH ‘WIGWAM’ IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE

“I’m making a new <generic business checklist> that will help you <do something boring> – would you like to receive a copy? Just post the word “Wigwam” in the comments below.”

Don’t use a Facebook group as a way to get opt ins for your crappy checklists.

Use a crappy pop up box on your website like the rest of us.

10. QUESTIPROMO

“I’ve just launched a new course about <generic marketing tactic> and I’m looking for advice on how to get it out there. Thanks, Margery”

Ahh the classic promo hidden in a question. It’s so, so, erm.. ineffective.

WE SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU Margery!

You ain’t fooling anyone.

If your best marketing technique is the oh-so-unsubtle questipromo, I fear you are not the marketing guru you claim to be.

 

11. THE MULTIGROUP POSTER 

I get it. Repurposing your content is a great way to spread a little butter over lots of toast.

But posting the same question in 18 groups is just plain annoying, and it’s likely that the same people are in all the groups.

Don’t be a group whore. Pick a group and post your thing.

 

12. OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED 

via GIPHY

Janine is having a bad day. The tumble dryer is broken, the cat was sick in her handbag and she has an ingrown toenail.

Janine just wants a bit of MF love people. A little bit of attention in this cold unyielding world of PAIN.

So she posts an abstract attention-seeking cry for help.

And she waits.

Someone will bite.

Someone will ask “What’s wrong, hon?”

She just has to be patient.

P.S. If you do ask what’s wrong. Janine will likely respond “I’d rather not discuss details.”

 

13. I’VE BEEN IN THIS GROUP FOR 18 YEARS AND NEVER CONTRIBUTED BUT I JUST WANTED TO SHARE

I don’t mind the odd lurker. We all join groups and either forget about them or lurk silently, just enjoying the content.

But I can’t abide a lurkpromoer.

Like little business meerkats, they keep to their burrows only to pop up and self promote. Then they disappear again.

My advice? Don’t be a meerkat of promotion. Be a badger of involvement.

 

via GIPHY

 

14. THE HIJACKER

“So I know Trisha was asking for help with her problem but could I just make this post all about ME?’

No, you can’t. Write your own goddam post.

 

15. THE ADDER 

I’ve been added to this one group 6 times.
I get added by my ‘friend’.
I remove myself.
She waits a few weeks and adds me again.
I remove myself.
It’s a strange little dance.
Neither of us discusses it.
It’s too awkward.

I wonder how long it will go on?

 

16. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS

I just liked your post. That’s all.

This does not mean you can send me a friend request.

Do you make friends with people who brush past you in corridors?

No you do not – seriously you don’t, do you?

WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

 

17. I KNOW I ASKED FOR ADVICE, BUT… 

Clive asked for advice about how to build a website.
Sue, Bob and Tony gave advice.
Clive argues with Sue, disagrees with Bob and fights with Tony.

Clive didn’t want advice. Why did Clive post?

 

18. F**K YOU ADMIN

“I know it’s your group. I know you have rules but I’m a rebel. I think outside the box, you can’t control me, I walk to the beat of my own drum.”

Translates as = I’m too lazy and selfish to read the pinned post/admin rules.

 

19. IT’S SIX LETTERS

There are lots of six-letter words I like.

Wigwam

Eggcup

Spleen

But my favourite is ‘Thanks’.

It’s so easy to type. Try it now. Thanks. See? Easy.

SO if you’ve asked for advice and people have helped you, take a nanosecond to type ‘THANKS’.

via GIPHY

 

BONUS. BYE FELICIA*

via GIPHY

“I’m so disappointed in this group and would like to tell you all that I’m leaving. Please react by begging me to stay. I’ll stay anyway, or re-join in a few days but I need you to all make me feel needed. Thanks Dorothy”

The exit is that way; don’t let the door hit you on the way out Dorothy.

So finally

What drives YOU crazy in Facebook groups? Please post in the comments below. Oh and if you like this post, please share and tell me your favourite Facebook flaw number.

Did you like this post?

You might like my book ‘Confessions of a Misfit Entrepreneur | How to succeed despite yourself’ – buy it online here.

P.S.

Big thanks to those who contributed idea in my Facebook groups.

Want to have a chat?

If you need a Copywriter, SEO Consultant or Information Architect, then please contact me.

The Recipe for SEO Success
The Clever Copywriting School

 

 

* As an added bonus here are a few of my fave instructions.

Credit : https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3l1u8h/well_duh/

Credit https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5ljbch/this_topgear_tshirt_label/

 

19 things NOT to do in a Facebook group was last modified: by
  • Kate you nailed it!

    • Thanks Linda 🙂 Head to your group to post with “Admin please delete if not aloud.”

  • lou

    Thanks so much for this Kate great reminders for the new year. Alao.hand knitted cat undies!

  • Michelle O’Sullivan

    Holy Moly that was hilarious! #16 happens at least 4 times a week at the moment. lol

  • I just read this to my husband over coffee. We were in hysterics. So many truths to this. Mummy groups are the worst. I often join one recommended by a friend only to leave a few days, barf worthy.

  • Rebecca Wixon

    Everything is accurate about this. EVERYTHING. Thanks Kate for putting every admins thoughts into a post!

    • This post should be compulsory for group admins 🙂

      • Rebecca Wixon

        Definitely. I’ve already shared it with my group admin team and they love it!

  • Boots

    “Admin delete if not allowed” and “F” are the absolute worst!!!

    • Yep, I forgot bump, bump annoys me too

      • The Cool Cookie

        As an admin, we use “bump” when something important happens and we need to keep it up topside because the “pinned post” is otherwise occupied with rules. Like when a member who was well know committed suicide and we wanted to keep everyone in the loop.

    • Shannon Grover

      And the thing is, they have the option to just turn on notifications. That’s all they have to do. Not that hard.

      • Crowley Assistant

        But they don’t know how to turn on notifications. And those are the people that state they are “Experts in social media”.

        • Shannon Grover

          Very true! They are also the same ones who say they “can’t find the pinned post.” HAHAHAHAHA!

  • Danijela FitzGibbon

    I just generally hate people but this post is ok 😉 thanks Kate!

  • Kat

    I loved this so much that I nearly wet myself. Being an admin of a decent sized group certainly exposes you to some ‘special’ people!

    • I made someone nearly wee today. That’s makes me inexplicably happy.

  • Jacqueline Malafiej

    Hilarious. Nailed the insight. Still laughing. Thanks!

    • Thanks for reading Jacqueline 🙂

  • Julie Coulthard

    Yes, yes, BLOODY YES!!! Belly laughing to this. Thank you… For me 17 struck a nerve because I see it so often. Pfffft… #FACEPALMTOTHEMAX.

  • How about “I haven’t watched the video you posted, but here’s why it’s offensive”? And then proceed to argue with everyone who actually bothered to watch the video. Or the person who de-friends you because you point out that calling you names isn’t advancing their argument, rather the opposite in fact.

    • So many people waiting to be offended.

  • Ruth Mackenzie

    1 & 2 annoy the heck out of me

  • Annie

    Thank you so much for this, but especially for #8! This is one of my for-all-time pet peeves! If you’re going to respond to a post, please, please, please take the time to read previous responses, and don’t bother to say something that has already been said a hundred times!!

    • Kathleen Lewis

      A lot of new posts can appear during the interval you’re composing your post. You just can’t read everything.

      • Annie

        I realize that, but hours, or even days later?

    • Mark S

      Thank you so much for this, but especially for #8! This is one of my for-all-time pet peeves! If you’re going to respond to a post, please, please, please take the time to read previous responses, and don’t bother to say something that has already been said a hundred times!! – Sorry, my sense of humour 🙂

    • Petrolia local

      One time in a thread, a poster responded rudely, assuming that the original poster was talking about someone else, when in fact they had revealed that they and their son were the people they were talking about. When I suggested she ought to be more careful and considerate, she said, how was I supposed to know? When I pointed out that the info was in an earlier post, she asked me, Do YOU read all the posts in a thread? 🙄

      • Annie

        As a matter of fact, I do read most, if not all, the posts in a thread if I intend to respond myself. Why would anyone bother to respond, if they think nobody is going to bother to read their responses. If I intend to respond, and I read that others have responded in the same vein as I had intended to, I don’t bother, because it’s obvious that nobody is paying any attention to what others have said.

  • Gloria McBreen

    #12 on FB in general, not just in groups. ‘MaryAnn just checked into A&E in Galway University Hospital.’
    Then no explanation for 24 hours. *attention*

  • Karen Tweedie

    Why is my name there? Have I done something wrong? You want me out?

  • Regina Lafferty

    I hate someone starting a request for a recommendation with or including the words “That won’t break the bank” Example I am looking for a licensed plumber to install a sump pump that won’t break the bank. People need to make a living and if you are too cheap to pay the going rate then try doing it yourself and call a licensed plumber to fix it when your basement is flooding at 2am.
    I would not reccomend anyone to this person.

    • Elsa

      Any time someone uses the phrase “reasonably priced” or “won’t break the bank,” they mean “free.”

    • Dena Gottlieb

      Would it be ok to ask for someone “inexpensive”?

    • I don’t necessarily agree, not *all* people asking this just want it free or unreasonably cheap. there’s a huge variation in pricing between many contractors. But that’s what getting quotes is for.

      • Elsa

        In my community I used to see people asking for “reasonably priced babysitters” (for a night out, not a regular full-time arrangement) who thought that $5/hr for a 2 year old and a 2 month old was too expensive. Same sorts would ask for “reasonably priced” secondhand items but would balk at any price above $0.00. Donations are fine, but own it!

  • Caitlin Van Essen

    Loved this!
    My pet peeve is people who try to sell to people who are responding to your post! Start your own bloody thread
    “Admin eif not allowed” has to be the all time laziest way to post in any group

  • Rebecca Hill

    “Thanks for the add!” posts annoy me. You’re here. We know you’re here. Odds are you wanted to be here since you asked to join. Feel free to post…just make it something of substance, please! Or at the very least, make it humorous, or interesting.

    • 🙂

      • Chris Ferre

        I’ve definitely done this. I thought it was polite. Am I wrong?

        • Lizzie Leishman

          No you’re not. It’s good manners to say thanks.

    • Jeannie Boozer

      Yes!! So annoying!

    • Lizzie Leishman

      No that’s good manners

  • Lucinda Phillips

    As an admin in a fairly popular group, we instigated a rule that if you post ‘Admin please delete if not allowed’, your post WILL be deleted. If people are too darn lazy to read the clear rules of the group, they deserve to have their post deleted!

    • Shannon Grover

      YESS! Totally agree with you there. I admin a large group and every time I see one of those posts come in I start screaming at my computer “I DON’T NEED YOUR PERMISSION TO DELETE, YOU A****LE!!”

    • It makes the dodgy posts easier to spot.

    • MDS

      I would reccomend all groups everywhere to make a rule that ‘Admin please delete if not allowed’ is actually code for ”I am being held in this group against my will, please remove me ASAP”.

  • DiWalker

    Thank you for your 19 tips plus bonus tip ~ enjoyable reading.

    Tip:
    If you’re at the supermarket and cannot remember the ingredients for your recipe… don’t FB ask if anyone can give you the ingredients ~ instead how about just googling the recipe and STOP being a social media attention seeker. We don’t care what you’re having for dinner nor do we wish to waste data answering your request.

  • Chris Mellor

    something to add. don’t comment if suffering from a depressive illness, unless it is in your safe closed group for fellow sufferers!!

  • Cheri Bate

    Ive got a pet hate, the repeat poster…reposting old content over and over until it drives you nuts seeing that same old post. Ok I get that not everyone in the group has been there from the start of it development but every few weeks the same content? Soon gets on ones nerves

  • Toni Laws

    PEOPLE WHO TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND/OR HAVE NEVER HEARD OF PUNCTUATION OR PARAGRAPH BREAKS AND RAMBLE ON IN MASSIVE BLOCKS OF TEXT WITH NOTHING TO SAY WHILE SAYING IT VERY VERY POORLY WITH GRATUITOUS USE OF NON-WORDS LIKE DEVINE AND IRREGARDLESS.

    • Leonie M

      These people likely have dyslexia… It can be easier for them to use all caps as there is less confusion between b p d and q. Dyslexia also presents as poor spelling and grammar usage as well as difficulty getting one’s thoughts down coherently! Please try to be understanding. Reading and writing doesn’t come easily to everyone, despite their best efforts.

      • April Alexander

        yes, thank you, reading & writing isn’t easy for some of us. if you can read & understand me, please don’t be critical of my grammar. I do the best I can.

        • Leonie M

          🙂

      • Mark S

        I know a company CEO that emails in all caps. Always has and always does. No disfunction except it’s easier to find her own comments in multiple page emails. She runs a company with 20 employees and multiple websites and has to email a lot. I can’t think of it any other way than shouting.

    • Adaire Palmer

      I like irregardless. Reminds me of that time I went to the beauty salon to have my nails done and decided to have the french tips, irregardless of if they were in fashion or not.

    • Love me some ALL CAPS

  • Karen Bartels

    :Pet peeve: post the same link that another member posted 2 hours ago. Yeah, it may be interesting but if in my group, it is gone.

    • vicgirl3

      And then you get the messages about “Where is my post?” (insert eye roll)

  • Margaret B

    What can I say Hon!!! most of these drive me up the wall. What does ‘F’ mean?? 😀

    • IM1LuckyWoman

      Follow. People want to receive notifications about further comments on the post and if THEY comment with follow, they’ll be in the loop.

      • Margaret B

        Thank you 🙂

  • Paul W

    “The drunken rant”
    I run a group for a nice bunch of guys (in the flesh) but there is one who posts late on a Friday and his long post starts by saying something reasonable but then turns into abuse of everyone else in the group and finally ends in all caps. I’ve had to delete his posts many times but unfortunately there’s no moderator function in FB to be able to preview posts before they appear.

    • Suzy

      There is a way to moderate posts. I’m in a secret group where all posts are approved before appearing.

      • yes I do that in some of my groups but it kind of spoils the fun 🙂

  • Love all these Kate, too funny and oh so true! To add my personal bugbear at present: the people who do the, ‘Let’s all follow each other on Instagram!’ post. ARGHHHH give me strength #headmeetwall

    • On the instagram like ladders – they never work for me 🙂

  • Ha ha – this post is gold… my peeve is the oh this isnt a promo post BUT I’ll just happen to post something really soft, add a pic AND put my website all over it…

  • Robyn Wellfare

    The one that I think should also be mentioned is, “I really need info” (on whatever) and then they say “And Go” with no please or thank you.
    I know that it is kind of similar to the “why can’t you just Google it yourself” vibe, but it just seems rude, like someone giving a dog a command…. I’ve thrown the ball for you – And Go

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dafb1eec70e0aae90e6b00918754c4d68f7e924c6823d96978bccf2103fadbc3.jpg

    • Elsa

      In the group I admin (1100ish people), any time I see an “and…GO!” post, I delete it, because it just comes off as so rude and presumptuous, that everyone would jump to answer your lame question, like “what are fun activities to do with kids?” or “best-kept secrets of this area?” One is easily searched, and one, well, why would I tell a stranger about my secret parking spot?

      • Dena Gottlieb

        I HATE that. Why on earth should I “Go!” just because you said to? Uch! How about when the poster commands you to “Discuss.”. Honestly, what is it with people? Can’t they just respectfully request information or opinions?

      • Cari Sheldon

        I consider myself a helpful person but if some MF posts “and… GO!” like it’s some race to see who can help them the fastest, I don’t.

      • The Cool Cookie

        What I hate are the posts where member is too damn lazy to share on their own and they expect everyone to do their work. Instead of “Is anyone other than me too old to remember how great the salt water taffy from Gordon’s was?” your get “Gordon’s salt water taffy – share memories here:” Like, why? Put something of yourself into this, fool.

      • Lilytiger

        I like you! I hate those commands. Makes me want to chew up their shoes!

    • Kate Elizabeth Richardson

      How about, “Thank you.”

  • Love this post – rings with a lot of truth. My husband is admin to a pretty large group. He deletes so much stuff it’s ridiculous. Most of this behaviour you’ve listed we call “thirsty”.

    • Lilytiger

      Thirsty! This is now entering my lexicon!

  • Tammy Guest

    LMFAO…. best blog yet, so much Truth. Thanks for the laugh and the instruction manual to share Kate

  • Carlene Cardona-Elvy

    Oh how I relate to every single point in this post – being an Admin of a large group as well, I think we deal with them all on a daily basis! Awesome blog Kate, love it!

  • On. Point.

  • ComeAndTakeIt

    This was absolutely wonderful! Thank you!

  • Jane Keighley

    This is absolutely brilliant. You’ve summed it up perfectly. My pet hate is the multi-poster. I’ve got secondhand embarrassment for them!

  • Devo

    I find it annoying when you ask a question or make a thoughtful comment, and then you get these long, drawn out, well written responses that are somewhat related but definitely miss the point. And then other people like those comments and chime in about it, and it sort of gets inadvertently hijacked. Meanwhile you don’t want to be ungrateful, so you’re stuck trying to nicely thank them for their thoughtful contributions while also pointing out that technically they didn’t really get what you wrote or somehow failed to really answer it. Then you just look like a dick.

    In short, people need to read original posts carefully and make sure they are actually speaking to them.

  • Crystal Carmen

    Love it! Very accurate. There is one missing that my be primarirly for creatives. They post a photo of the most impeccably perfect setup or execution of a craft. The post is normally followed by : Guys I can’t take it tell me how I did and areas for improvment. No negative comments please.

    There is also another variation, I call “Positive feedback only”. “Hi guys this is my work. Please tell me what you think no negative comments please, be easy on me.

    • slight variation: “I treated my unvaccinated son’s measles with collodial silver and coffee enemas, his leg just fell off, what do I do? No negative comments please.”

      • Smack That

        There’s an essential oil for that.

        • Lilytiger

          BWAH! Thanks for the laugh.

  • Che Corrie

    People not answering a straight forward question! Someone will ask ‘what’s xxx?’ that was mentioned in a post. Others will respond with different brands of xxx or different shades or flavours, but not actually what xxx is! Drives me nuts.

    #4 and #15 are also super annoying as well.

  • eleanorjosephine

    My pet peeve is politics – when it comes totally out of left field – like what does Trump/Obama have or do with a recipe/babywearing/furniture refinishing/makeup/essential oil/other obscure but specific group Post?!

  • Tabster

    Random heartwarming post about cute animal helping other cute animal.

    Commenter #7: Animals are better than people. All people should just die out. *We’re going to ignore the fact that the animal-adoring, animal-rights-activist that I am is also included in the category of “people”* *We will also ignore the fact that most interactions between these two animals would end in violence and injury.* *And we will ignore the fact that I am addicted to, sharing on, and gathering information from a network developed by “people”*

    Commenter #13: Aww. Didn’t God make such an amazing creation?
    Response to commenter #13: God is a F#%^$ing myth. Ignoramus.
    Response to commenter of commenter #13: You’re just a bitter atheist who know nothing of the love of God.
    Response to commenter of commenter of comment #13: I just hate ignorant religious types with their head up their a$$ who refuse to believe in the ALL-KNOWING SCIENTISTS.
    1,000 responses later: Wasn’t this post about kittens?

    Commenter #70: LOL. It looks like that one animal is gettin’ it on with that other one. Free love, man! That’s the way to go. Anyone in this group wanna [insert obscenities that cannot be repeated here].

  • Dave Oplinger

    I hate it when people misspell words that they shouldn’t – like “aloud” instead of “allowed”….

  • Smack That

    I don’t know why, but I hate the phrase “thanks in advance” or “TIA”. Part of me knows it’s innocuous compared to most other items in the list, but I still hate it.

  • I have a group of 26K, you have nailed all the kooky things that happen. You are the best Kate!

  • Melanie De-Ville

    The multigroup poster defiantly gets my goat. I’ve had to read the same message from the same person 10 times grr

  • The Cool Cookie

    I once left a group and posted a very sincere “Thank you!” to the group because I loved it, the members and the content. But I had to downsize my online life. It was just a simple “Hey…and thanks…you guys are the absolute best, and the admins do a terrific job keeping everyone on topic. Best of luck and fortune, and keep hunting up those…” and I got all these crazy responses like “What am I supposed to do with this,” and “I don’t get it.” Dudes and Ladies, you were being thanked for a great ride, sent good karma and wishes. You don’t have to do anything. Just read it, if you want, and accept the energy, if you choose. Know the difference between good wishes and how to gracefully accept them, and fiendish dramatic exits. Learn to accept praise instead of always expecting a$$holery.

  • Lyn Anderson

    People who respond to how-to questions not with the answer but with a question about why they want to do that in the first place. Example:
    Q: ) How do you change the default website setting to make it six columns instead of four columns?
    A:) Why would you want to do that? It’s so much better to… blah… blah… blah…

  • Melissa Foote

    Love this. One of my pet hates is people who respond to a cry for help with a completely rude reply. Often they miss the point or don’t know the full situation but then use their age, illness etc. as their excuse and green card for being an a’hole. One old lady posted ‘I have cancer so I don’t have time to mince words’ when someone called her out for her rude behaviour. Clearly you do have time…. otherwise you wouldn’t be on FB and responding rudely and why does cancer and being old allow you to be an asshole?

  • Jodi

    What upsets me is people who obviously have nothing to do but wade through mounds of posts in Facebook groups and can’t just be kind to others. You, and others, should realize that not everyone is on Facebook all day to see what appropriate group etiquette is, and that many people go into groups to meet, share and ask questions of others with like minded interests. Maybe “why you should be kind to others” should be the next post you should concentrate your research and writing skills.

  • Crystal Logan

    Personally my favorite was the well if it’s wrong the admin will or should delete it, when something is posted god forbid you point out the flaw and that you don’t agree with everyone posting the answers to where to look to find an things over an event that was posted and the person decides it’s ok for her to go on about how helpful and wonderful it is, then tries to start a fight because someone else disagreed. also how their time is sooo much more valuable yes it happened….sorry but if a site takes the time to set up an event where there are free prizes to those who find things they hid around the site to get people more familiar with the site & services offered & the different things available posting the answers in the thread where they announce the hunt in their forum group is rude and tacky….they pulled the wanting to fight, disagree with anyone who opposed, and went on and on how they have too much to do to spend the time hunting…..i’m like lady you had 6 days, yea free stuff is great but you are totally missing the point then went on well if it wasn’t allowed it should be deleted and the time difference yep no one would be on for hours. I’m like lady you expressed your opinion i’m allowed to express mine not everyone always agrees Totally love this article.

    oh there is also in the rare medical condition group gotta love the people who are either clearly trolls, can’t even get the name of the condition or treatments right and are going on and on and on how their case is soo much worse then everyone else’s. couple people have gotten upset because a people educate them with facts, b they are told why the fuck are you still here take your meds as prescribed or call the doctor don’t ask Facebook group. you can’t get your meds have you talked to this group, this or this that help with that, what do you mean you never heard of them they host this group. then there are the ones i think i have this here are pictures do i have this…um have you talked to a doctor noooo. someone asks for a referral elsewhere you give them a referral for an organization and when it’s pointed out they there are localized places people get huffy well they helped me i’m in the states….the person asking for recommendations for organizations in South Africa/ Australia/ some other part of the world.

  • Shannon Grover

    Here’s one. When someone asks the exact same question on several old posts, which bumps the old posts up.

    I hate having to answer the question numerous times because the person has some stupid agenda going to bump old posts. I get very impatient with my answers. Even to the point of saying “Were you hoping that someone else would give you a different answer? Or that maybe it’s changed in the last two days since you asked the exact same question on another post?” ARGH!!

  • Adaire Palmer

    Group admins who are like, ‘do as I say and not as I do’. OR, if you can’t be a good example. At least be a horrible warning.

  • Kelly Stone

    Kate – I love every.single.one.
    It’s the misspellings that grind me and txt tlk. And, at risk of sounding like #8 – that is all 🙂

  • Lesley Hinde

    Brilliant! 8 and 12 I think are my favourites. I think I need to share this on ALL my groups/pages. Many thanks!

  • For !!!!!! some !!!! reason !!!! there !!!! way !!!! to !!!!! many !!!! exclamation !!!! marks !!!! on !!!! this !!!! keyboard !!!!

  • Crowley Assistant

    BEST THING I have ever read! “Please delete if not allowed” = No! You know darn well what you’re doing! You’re just hoping some people will contact you before it gets deleted.

    SO WRONG!

  • Crowley Assistant

    Every time someone asks, “How do I _____” (insert common question that has been answered a million times and the answer is located in the description of the group).

    I would love to answer with, “Here, LMGTFU”

  • Judi

    Oh what a hoot! As an admin for a group with over 17,000 women (and another one with over 3,000) this made me laugh out loud for an hour. I had to stop the first time round because I spit coffee through my nose! And I made sure I had a bathroom break before I read it again. My pet peeve is the hijacker (like some people who responded in these comments). I think I’m going to pin this post up as the new rules in the group. For the record the most astonishing post we had was the woman who posted her 2 year old daughter’s vajajay and asked if anyone had any idea what the rash was. One of our members who is a police officer with the sexual assault unit had a quiet word with her. FFS. Thanks Kate I love your writing.

  • vicgirl3

    People who can’t bother to use the group search bar/function! Really is it necessary for people to ask the same question every week when if they bothered to use that search bar they would find a dozen recent posts with the same question and all the same answers?

  • sflorman

    Did you write this post just to promo your book? 😉

    • I wrote this post, like all the posts on my site, a) because I’m a writer and that’s what I do b) to promote myself and my business – that’s what content marketing is no?

  • Anastasia Marsden

    My favourite ones are the posters who want a tradie recommended because some type of piping/wiring/equipment is broken. They desperately need it fixed in the next 15 minutes because their house is flooding/sparking/burning down and the in-laws are due for a visit. Get off FB, go to the interwebs, and find someone yourself in the time it takes 20 random strangers to respond with 10 equally random tradespeople.

  • Kat

    I have nothing valuable to add. I just loved this post very much.

  • Robin

    When people ask for advice, tips, or recommendations and they end their post with “And Go!!!”
    Makes me not want to respond at all!!

  • Yvette Putter

    Nice!

  • Kelly Cooper

    When people reply simply with the name of someone they are tagging …. sometimes you have to scroll past 95 names before encountering a single actual comment. If you think someone should see it, share it with them. Don’t waste my time by tagging them in the comments.

  • Ilse Cornelis

    #20 People who post and reply only with GIFs – words and letters are overrated (obvs I should have posted a GIF to really nail this one)

  • OMG Savings

    Love it 😀 (let me just add my promo here as a comment-promo-whore ;-))

  • Patty Murphy Lewis

    I especially dislike long-winded introductions (or any introductions for that matter) in large groups. “Hi, thanks for the add, I should introduce myself to the 20,000 people in this group…” This never fails to set off a round of “I guess I’ll introduce myself too” posts.

  • Nikki Kitley

    It bugs me when someone has a hissy fit and proclaims to the world they are leaving the group because they are offended by whatever… and when you read the comments their name is still blue and not turned grey to mean they have left the group, they are just hanging around for they sympathy etc etc, If you say you are gonna leave just leave don’t make a song and dance about it. In fact don’t even tell them you are leaving if you are so highly thought of they will come looking for you. It’s only a FB group leave the diva crown in it’s box please….

  • Christina Salwitz

    #18 is my own personal hell! Balancing be nice and laid back as an Admin and having pretty simple, straightforward and specific rules for a group of 4K has been a challenge. We instituted the “Questions for Admittance” policy about a year ago, re-wrote and re-posted new rules, even went so far as to re-name the Group to dumb it down even further. NOPE- still have people posting daily, both new and old members like they have never heard of the rules before. SMH!

  • Jessica

    When the admin themselves make it the ‘Me! Me! Me!’ show (so you can’t block them or complain about them ruining the group), or there’s an annoying know-it-all who has self-appointed themselves guru-elite-member-of-the-group and feels the need to insert themselves into every conversation even if their voice was clearly not welcomed.

  • Janine Wilson

    People who ask for advice, get it.. stone silence on thread. 10 minutes later, posts something else. No oi, thats rude, answer damnit! Or at least like it!

  • Elaine Hartless

    Ppl who post in txt spk. U no the 1s

  • Elena Peters

    Oh look. Someone else broke the rules first. That means we can all break the rules now and not be blamed. Only that first guy can get in trouble right?

  • Jenifer Jay

    I recently was in one of my facebook groups that apparently did not enact the no promo rule. I really thought this person was asking for legitimate help well, like a dummy I replied. I was sooooo mad when it was a promo. Girl Bye! I really appreciate the no promo rule now! BTW #14 pisses me off. Especially when people do it on your personal page after you post a picture and then they hold a conversation underneath your picture of your kid or something.

  • debi sue

    People who respond to someone else’s comment as a personal attack. For example if someone says “I admire stay at home moms”. Within seconds you see ” Thanks so much for insulting all struggling single moms and calling them trash. You are just so ignorant and your kids are probably stupid like you because you vaccinate and want to spread hate.”
    Hello? Dear responder we politely decline your invitation to live in your delusional world. Posts are not directed to random strangers who happen to assume that all of life is about them.

  • WesleyJKeller

    Great read, and truth in each item. Presented with just enough chuckle factor to keep me moving to the next and sighing sadly as I made it to #19, then the bonus (encore entry), then it was over.
    My new personal add on would be folks who continuously tag their friends on something I shared. No comment, just the person’s name. If you want them to read it, share it.

  • No.12 is my BIGGEST bug bear. It’s not only restricted to Facebook groups but I have friends who post a status like “Well that was a sh*t day”. Then loads of people comment, asking what’s wrong, only for the poster to never respond! Argh! As for Facebook groups, I’ve been in blog post share threads where I’ve seen people drop their links and not share other people’s. That’s not cool!

  • Maria Van Ewyk

    omg you said everything I have been thinking lately! I have been so annoyed with the groups I am in. People are always posting “if you follow me, I’ll follow you back”

  • Haaaaaaaa. I have to say I am guilty of 11. But max 3 groups. And I change the wording slightly. But yeah I’m sure that more than one person has seen my words twice or more in one day.

    The bit that killed me is “hon”. Glad I’m not the only one. There’s one lady in one group who spreads her hons around like honey on crumpets and I dream of murder.

    I would like to suggest 20 – starting a post with this phrase: “I see you, divine goddess.” Surprisingly far more common than it logically should be. Did someone put this in a femmepremeur swipe file at some point? Bonus points if post contains “hon”.

  • Chris Mills

    Thanks! But now I’m not sure whether I need admin permission, or perhaps I’m just being needy to be noticed or am I now asking a real question. Oh whatever, THANKS! 🙂

  • Deb’s World

    This just made me laugh!! Thanks for that I really needed it 🙂

  • Jill Creighton

    Funny post. Great writing. Will try and not do any of these 19 fails ! THanks Jill

  • I particularly like it when someone comes into a group, says something inflammatory designed to get lots of (negative) engagement, then complains about the negativity that she/he started.

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